On Saturday, January 5th I delivered a baby girl that I could not bring home. At a routine 4 month doctor appointment in December I was given devastating news... that our baby did not have a heartbeat. Because I have a blood clotting disorder and had been taking blood thinning injections... as well as a history of significant bleeding during deliveries... my doctor told me that I would have to wait 2 weeks before I could deliver. There are no words to describe those 2 weeks at home... waiting, agonizing.
I was able to see and hold my little girl. We named her Frances Camille DiNello. She is buried where I attend church... right across the street from my school.
My doctor has placed me on disability for this month and I am thankful for the time to rest, process, etc. I have been trying to stay very busy at home. I have cleaned almost everything (some things twice)... lots of creating TpT projects. Organizing my boys' clothing, putting the DVDs in ABC order.... you get the point.
I am a super private person, but am starting to see the merits of opening up... I am different now.... I am stronger. I am thankful to be surrounded by family and friends. I truly feel loved. Thank you for letting me share... and thanks for sticking around. I promise to be back soon!
Stacy I am so sorry. Thanks for having the courage to share your story. My prayers go out to you and your family and I'm sending lots of (virtual) hugs to you. I hope time permits your mind and body the healing it needs. :-)
ReplyDeleteKaryn
Kideducator@comcast.net
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I cannot even imagine what those two weeks were like. Thank you for having the courage to share and take the time you need to heal and to find ways that help you to move forward. Your daughter will always be an important part of you and who you are. Sending prayers to you and your loved ones and lots of hugs! Take care of yourself.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry to hear about this. I cannot even imagine the struggle you have been through. I am sending you healing thoughts and more strength to go forward. Bless you for sharing, you are an inspiration to others in your shoes.
ReplyDeleteAlyce
I cannot imagine the loss and struggle that you feel right now. Thank you for sharing your story - there are others out here that can relate and understand your pain. I will be sending prayers to you and your family. Please make sure to take care of yourself right now - and let others surround you with love.
ReplyDelete~Realistic
Stacy,
ReplyDeleteMy heart breaks for you. I cannot imagine the emotions you must be feeling. Please know that someone out there, someone whom you have never met, is thinking about you and praying for your peace and comfort.
I think it's very brave to share your story. You're right, blogs are all about sharing life moments, the good, the bad, and the sometimes devastatingly painful. Please take care on your time off. My thoughts are with you and your family.
Sincerely,
Alisha Colon
<3 you
ReplyDeleteYou have my heart.
ReplyDeleteI found your blog through "Rowdy in First Grade" and want to say how incredibly sorry I am for your loss. No words that I can say will be enough, so I'll say that you and your family are in my prayers...You are so brave! <3
ReplyDeleteThank you for your kind words... each day brings its own challenges. I am just taking it one day at a time. I am thankful for guest bloggers to help me fill the void while I'm out of work... hoping to return to my firsties next week... Glad you found me... thanks again for the sweet comment!
DeleteStacy
Funky Fresh Firsties
I just found your blog. I'm so sorry for all you've been through. I cannot imagine what it's like. Please know that you are in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteTeachin' First
I just happened upon your blog this evening as I troll for ideas. I am so very sorry for your loss.
ReplyDeleteI stumbled across your blog on Pinterest while looking for ideas for my first graders. I just wanted to tell you how admirable you are as not only a VERY organized teacher, but also as a woman. Motherhood changes all of us, but you are now part of a very special society of women who've suffered the utmost pain. My heart aches for you and for sweet Frances. May she always be your angel guiding you through life. Hugs to you and your boys... and thank you for all you do for the wonderful world of education!
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